Welcome back to a new episode of the Origination Point Podcast! In this episode, Bill discusses the Marshall fire in Colorado, how we as a community come together for those in need, and how we can maintain that level of support for one another even after our times of need. We hope you enjoy this episode of The Origination Point podcast! Please make sure you subscribe, so you can stay up-to-date on any new episodes.

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Finding Meaning In Crisis

The Origin of Things in Humanity

I started the show a number of years ago, looking at what are the origins of things related to our humanity, how we think, and see each other, sources of our trauma, growth and who we are as human beings. It has grown into something that is both personal and rooted in my whole sense of building community. I’ve been pretty fortunate in that I’ve been able to travel across the country and work with people across the world talking about the things that we need to do to create more connections.

How do we live together, work together and see each other for the authentic human beings that we are, knowing that we all live in a world, country and communities rooted in divisiveness and fear. It has now permeated all of our interactions with each other in many different ways, how we see each other as the other and rather than seeing each other as vital members of our community.

This is what drove me to want to talk to you about 2021. I didn’t have an intention of doing an episode to end the year because it didn’t strike me as something that was important until one day. I live in Boulder County and we had a devastating wildfire in the communities of Superior in Louisville, which are outside of Boulder. Hundreds, if not thousands, of families and homes have been displaced. People have lost their homes. Families have been displaced.

Boulder County’s been my home since 1979. I moved to Boulder at that time and lived there for 35 years. It’s always been my home. The people here are great, warm and caring. It’s been challenging to see the things that have happened, especially in 2021, in this community that I call home. Other than a few years being gone, living in Denver for a couple of years when I worked out there, and then living in the Portland area for a couple of years for my wife’s job, Boulder County has always been home.

We moved back here in June 2021 to be closer to family, help my wife with her mom, who is aging and has Alzheimer’s and dementia, and to reconnect to our roots. It’s been challenging not only for me and for us but for most of you out there reading. Over the last few years, we’ve all experienced the divisiveness and fear of COVID, the political dysfunction that we see in our country, the racial issues that have surfaced, and the way that we go from being connected to each other to being disconnected, to wanting to hurt each other based on perspectives and ideologies.

It’s got me thinking a lot about, “Why is this happening? What are we supposed to be learning here and getting from all of these experiences?” We have essentially been socialized over the last few years to see each other through a lens of fear and divisiveness. Whether or not you believe in COVID, masks, vaccines or not, we have been pitted to fight each other over these things.

The racial issues that are happening in this country. We have been pitted to fight with each other over our beliefs and ideology about race. This divisiveness that we are all entrenched in is deeply affecting our communities to the point where we are challenged to collaborate and compromise, to accept that there are multiple perspectives for every issue. How do we come to a place of acceptance because we’ve never agreed on everything as a society?

This isn’t about creating an agreement. However, it is about creating a level of acceptance and how do we come together to see each other as human beings that are always going to have different perspectives, and yet we have to be together and live together as part of a community, organization, country, church and whatever it is that we belong to. It’s almost as though we’ve lost our ability to do that.

The Politics of Division

There are a number of reasons that cause me to think about why all of this is happening. I have several things I want to share with you now that I’m into this conversation. One is around the politics of division. I call it that because I believe that, from a political perspective, there is a purpose that some of our leaders have in projecting this divisiveness in our communities.

 

One of the things I believe and experienced in my own political career is that if we are fighting with each other, then we don’t come together to figure out what the issues are on a larger scale and what those larger political issues are. What are those larger issues about leadership? How do we want people to lead and represent us in the media? How are they complicit in driving this divisive culture that we are all living through?

Many of those leaders and media outlets take very little responsibility for what they are creating and perpetuating in the communities in which we all live. I’ve worked with people from all different perspectives of political ideology, from whatever you want to label people. I have worked with them. There’s one thing that everyone agrees with, and that is that we are being socialized to believe there is much that divides us.

When we move past labels, stereotypes, race and judgment and we start to get into our stories, there is way more that connects us than divides us. The majority of the people I talk to all want what is best for their families. They want their children to have a better life than they have. They want to be able to provide for their family. They want to have work that is meaningful and feel like they’re part of a community where they feel valued for who they are.

That’s a very strong connecting point that we don’t always get to because I have to be honest, in some of the spaces that I move in and out of, people come into that space with a lack of trust with the idea that they’re going to be demonized or dehumanized for their perspective. I have to work hard to get past that, to show them that I can be trusted and that I’m not going to dehumanize them for being authentic. I appreciate multiple perspectives, even if I don’t agree with them. I can still be in a community with people who are different from me. With some people, it is a real challenge because sometimes their ideology is different from mine that I have to do a lot of my own work to create a level of acceptance. I’m not saying this is easy. I am saying this is necessary if we’re going to get through this time that we are in.

It’s a challenge for some people to be in a community with people who are different from them. Share on X

The Two Things

I remember many years ago when I first started doing my own work, and we had a facilitator come into Boulder to work with a group of us. I’ll never forget her. Her name was Lillian RoyBal Rose. She was an amazing and kindhearted person. She shared these thoughts with me. She said, “I want you to remember these two things as you do your own work and if you choose to take this into the realm of working with others. Remember these two things and you will engage people and be successful in creating connections.”

Those two things are everyone has a good heart and everyone deserves to be trusted. I can’t tell you that I’ve used them consistently throughout my career. I use them these days pretty consistently. When I walk into a space with those things in my head and heart, I realize that it’s much easier to make a connection with somebody because I’m there to get to know them for who they are authentically and not for the stories that I’m making up about them.

That is what our stereotypes and our judgments do. They push us into a place of interacting with each other based on the stories that we’re making up about each other versus who that person is authentically. Some of the people that I’ve met in my travels across the country who have been ideologically completely different from me, we still create a connection when we start talking about our kids, families or the interests that we have or the passion that we have in life, or the legacy that we want to leave, of leaving something better than what we found. That is a part of every single human being. Everyone is redeemable. That’s another value that I have. When I was young, I was a very mean, dysfunctional and dehumanizing person. I treated people badly that it was no wonder that I had very few friends and not many people trusted me.

Hurt People

If I had been in the age of social media, I would’ve been all over social media as that person who people would’ve labeled all types of horrible things. Some of them would’ve been true because that’s truly who I was. Coming from the level of trauma that I had as a youth, I was very hurt. Hurt people who are unhealed hurt people. That was me.

Hurt people who are unhealed hurt people. Share on X

I tell you that story in connection to my belief that everyone is redeemable because there were a few people who didn’t give up on me, and they saw something in me in spite of all of the negativity that I saw in myself and all of the bad behavior that I knew I had. They saw something in me and didn’t give up on me. They talked to me, taught me things, and showed me reflections of myself that weren’t always pleasant to look at, and yet were things that if I didn’t look at, I would’ve never grown into the person I am now.

Self-reflection

This idea of self-reflection is holding a mirror up to ourselves and seeing, “How am I connecting with other people? How am I seeing them? Am I seeing them through this authentic lens of who they are, or am I seeing them through this made-up story that I have in my head about them, rooted in my own history of stereotypes and judgments?”

It’s especially relevant as we move into another year and start to look at how do we bridge this divide that has been created in our country and our communities, at the same time that, for many of us, we don’t want to live there. We don’t want to be divided or fight with each other. A look into our own behaviors and narratives is always a great first step.

Another thing that I’ve been thinking about a lot is in our country and in our world, we have seen crisis after crisis. I keep wondering, and people ask me, “Why do you think this is happening? What is the purpose of all of this?” I remember when we moved to Oregon in 2018 for my wife’s job. Shortly after we moved there, COVID hit and we were isolated. We didn’t have a community there yet. We had some folks with whom we had created good relationships, and yet, we were in a place where we were socially isolated for months. It’s a good thing my wife and I get along, or that would’ve been challenging.

We are continuing to live through that, even though we want this to be over for myself and many of you out there. We are still engaged in it, and it’s still creating divisiveness. We had forest fires near us in Oregon while we were there. For two weeks, we had the worst air in the world. There was much smoke swirling around our home that we couldn’t even go outside. It permeated the walls of our house and it made it hard to breathe. Thousands of people were affected by these fires.

We had ice issues and freezing rain that closed down the city for days at a time. During that time, the mass shooting at the King Soopers in Table Mesa in Boulder occurred. We were 1,200 miles away. I was getting emails and texts. My friends were asking me if I knew about it. I was hearing from people who were affected by it. It was hard to be far away and feel helpless to do anything.

These devastating wildfires that were fueled by 110 or 115-mile-hour winds out in the plains destroyed hundreds if not thousands of people’s homes. They’re still picking up the pieces. For thousands of people who had plans to bring in a new year, their whole life is now turned upside down. As I think about crisis after crisis, I have to think about what is happening here.

We are a Crisis-oriented Society

Here’s one of my thoughts that I wanted to share. I truly believe that, in many ways we are a crisis-oriented society. What I mean by that is when there is a crisis, we all come together. We support each other, give money, time and whatever resources we have, whether it’s a tornado in the Midwest, a hurricane on the East Coast fire in the Midwest, or fires on the West Coast, whatever it is, we come together and support each other.

 

We don’t care what you look like, your ideology, race, or how old you are. We come together and see each other as people in need. As time goes on from each of these crises, then things return to normal. For many of us, normal is retreating back into our lives, retreating back to what we’re comfortable and familiar with. The connection that we have is then broken until the next crisis. I keep wondering if the universe must have some message for us in terms of crisis after crisis. Here’s my belief.

My belief is that the message that we are all being asked to receive, look at and talk about is how we create authentic connections with each other and see each other as those same humans that we see when we’re in a crisis, to see our neighbor as that same person outside of the crisis that we can support, love, care about and provide support to whatever that support is, rather than retreating back into our status quo behavior of being individual and being separate.

I see it again in the fire that happened where people are coming forward with so much resources and desire to help that the emergency management folks are being overwhelmed and they’re saying, “Let us get past the fires and making sure people are safe,” and then we can get to what resources do people need and again. It shows that as people, we have huge hearts to support our fellow people and community members. What happens after the crisis ends and another news or another crisis takes over?

In some ways, we have normalized all of this to where we go through a crisis. It’s a normal part, we get through it, and then we have another one. At what point do we normalize connection and see each other as unique human beings that all are looking for something to impact their life, to children, community, church, community group, or whatever it is that you’re involved in?

 

I think that as we move into another year, we now need to start to think about, “What do we need to do to come together and take care of each other in the same heartfelt way that we do when we’re in a crisis?” What is each of your roles in creating a culture of connection and supporting each other as we move into 2022? Those are important questions. Those are questions that I’m going to continue to ask myself every day. What is my role in this? Am I creating more divisiveness or more connection?

Some things to think about are how and what you can do as an individual to reach out to your neighbor or a stranger, to realize that we have a lot more that connects us than divides us and get out of this normalization of one crisis after another and start to see that there’s a message in this and this message for me is that there are many more things that connect us and divide us. If we can see each other through the lens of everyone has a good heart and everyone deserves to be trusted, we could overcome this. We can create a community, a country and a world that truly does care about each other. In spite of all of the devastation that I’ve shared with you, I have a lot of hope.

Don’t Lose Hope

I will never lose that hope no matter what happens to me or in my community because, for me, if I lose hope, then it’s all over. I have nothing to get up for and nothing to drive me through my days. I’m going to ask you all to. Please don’t give up hope. No matter what is happening in your life. There are people who care about you, love you, and support you in whatever way they can. Don’t lose hope. I also think it’s important for us to start to think about how we move out of this divisive culture that has been perpetuated over the years by a variety of people who keep messaging and giving us this false narrative that we need to be divided, fight each other and we can’t agree.

Please don't give up hope. No matter what is happening in your life. Share on X

As an aside, I served for six years on a school board here in Boulder. Even the service of a school board member, which has always been to do what’s in the best interest of children, has become politicized and divisive. It’s affecting people in ways that will cause them not to want to be a part of that process. We, as good-hearted people, cannot give up or bow to this divisive culture of people who want to do harm and create a better community. It’s important for us to collectively come together, use our voice, talk to each other, engage, and to realize that even in the most divided ideological perspective, there is a connection that you can make with another person if we can get to the heart of who that person is.

To that end, one of my goals in 2022 in any way that I can through this show, video and my work, through messaging, is to create the kind of community that I believe many people want, which is a community of connection. If you have the desire to follow up and be a part of a community that’s building connections, send me an email. My email is InclusionTalk@Comcast.net. Tell me your story.

Let me know that you want to be engaged in a community that’s creating connections in a world that is ready to work to move past this divisiveness. Let’s stop normalizing crises and let’s start to normalize connections. I’m going to end with my heart going out to everyone in Boulder County, Superior, Lewisville and beyond who have been touched by these fires that happened in Boulder County. I appreciate all of the support that people are willing to give and know that we will get through this because we care about each other.

My hope is that we continue that caring even beyond the crisis and create a community of connection. Please remember that each one of you holds the key to connection. Together, we can create the communities we want, where we see each other as authentic human beings with good hearts and deserving of trust. Continue reading the blog. We will be sharing in 2022. We will be sharing not only people’s stories but strategies, tips, and ideas for how we continue to grow and create communities of connection in all parts of the country, the world, and our hearts. Please take good care of yourselves and others. I wish you all the best as we move forward.

 

Important Links

• InclusionTalk@Comcast.net
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