Welcome back to another episode of the Origination Point Podcast! In this episode, Bill is joined by guest and friend Michael Atkins for our hope and healing segment of the podcast. Sit back, relax, and enjoy!
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Origination Point Podcast Ep. #17 Hope And Healing With Michael Atkins
The series that we’ve jumped into is thinking about hope and healing during a time of stress, trauma, and Coronavirus. I’ve got a great guest that we’re going to talk with. His name is Michael Atkins. Michael is all around a great person. He lives in Denver. We met when I worked with him in Denver Public Schools, and he has had quite a journey to get to where he is as a leader. I’m going to let him share that with you. I know you’ll be inspired as I am when I chat with him and knowing his story. Michael, how are you doing?
I truly appreciate the opportunity to talk to you.
Tell us who Michael Atkins is. Where are you from? What was your family like when you were growing up? We’ll get into your leadership story in a bit, I want to make that personal connection first and share with our readers a bit about who you are.
I am an individual that is from Denver Park Hill, Colorado. I grew up in Northeast Denver. I grew up during a time in a neighborhood that was lower socioeconomic and predominantly African-American. Within that journey and those experiences, I developed my leadership craft and this want to serve, and help change the trajectory, not only for myself but for the community that I lived in to break down some historical patterns as far as my family. I’ve been on this journey for several years, trying to find myself every day, navigate as a learner, and touch individuals as well, give back to a community that gave so much to me.
For those of you who don’t know Denver, there’s a lot of pride in where people are from, and Park Hill is a very distinct neighborhood. As Michael said, it was predominantly African-American. With the gentrification of Denver, the connection to where people who were born there, its importance keeps growing because sadly, what happens when neighborhoods gentrify is that you lose that historical connection and culture to who was there.
The new people feel like this is where it started without an understanding. That’s a great grounding for you in terms of where you’ve come from. What were some of the values and beliefs that were shared in your family, your mom, dad, or whoever had an impact on your life as you were growing up?
I talked to my dad for the second time since I was seven. I’ve met my dad in person twice. I come from a household of a very strong, passionate mother that instilled some values and forced us, three boys, to embrace education and develop these values of integrity and perseverance. Oddly enough, my role model in life and the rock of the family was my grandmother. My older brother passed away many years ago in a car accident. Growing up in Park Hill, I was a product of my environment. In Park Hill, there were a lot of drugs, gang activity, and poverty. I was sucked into that at an early age.
Navigating school, going to school, and having these experiences I was told through these experiences that school wasn’t for me. When I was in 7th or 8th grade, I remember my older brother pulling me aside. He was a scholar and an athlete, and he was going a different route than what the neighborhood was giving him. He was embracing school and sports, and he was going down a different trajectory than I was at the time.
I remember him taking me under his wing, watching him interact with people, and the way people would look at him. Whether it is in the classroom, the school hallway, or on the football field, people have this admiration for who he was. I remember his integrity. I still get messages from people that find me on Facebook who say, “Leonard Atkins was your brother.” I remember when we were in the seventh grade and someone was bullying me, and he stood up for me. I’m looking at him with so much admiration myself.
What’s the age difference between you two?
Three years.
You were in high school together. You were watching all of that through that everyday lens.
I looked at his work ethic in the classroom, on the football field, and on the track. I was able to play sports with him during my freshman year and he was a senior. I remember wanting to be like my older brother, him grabbing my hand, guiding me along the way at a very young age, and pulling me out of some negativity that I was involved in the neighborhood.
That’s great that you had him there for you in that way. What were some of the things that your grandma or your mom told you? I can imagine your grandma and your mom with three boys. Some of the things might have come up.
My grandma always used to tell me, “Don’t believe what people say. Believe what people do. Be your authentic self. Adversity is guaranteed. Perseverance is a choice.” Embracing and letting us be authentic, letting us know that life will be different. When I say adversity is guaranteed and perseverance is a choice, what I mean by that is it won’t be fair. It won’t be easy. Based on discrimination, you will have plenty of doors closed. It’s up to you to open that door back up, walk back through it, and find an alternative pathway to open the doors that you need to open.
That sounds like such a great grounding message being a Black man in America with all of the challenges that we see and all of the systemic inequities that we have now with COVID-19 that no one can deny. It would’ve been easy for you to get sucked into that victim mentality of adversity and allow it to drag you down. You didn’t do that.
I’m blown away by the story of your dad that you’ve only talked to him twice. It’s that dichotomy between how people see Black men as not being a part of the family, yet here you are, fully committed to your family, your community, and your neighborhood. That’s something that we all need to be aware of. That there are these stereotypes out there that lend to the adversity that folks go through. We all have the ability to break those down. One of them is by getting to know people like yourself who have faced those things and chosen a different path for a lot of reasons. Is there anything else you want to add?
Once I was able to identify those systemic inequities, I wanted to provide and identify those stereotypes further, put people in these places of drowning within their situation. I always wanted to shift experiences that others did not have my same experience.
With everything that you’ve had, you’re now in a place to clear the path for some of those kids who are at that crossroads of, “Do I go down this path of gangs and drugs, or do I go down this path of integrity, becoming educated, and living a fuller life?” Great messages. I want to jump into your leadership story. I know your story and I’m amazed at the things that you have accomplished in your young life and where you are. Why don’t you share with our audience the story of where you came from and the steps you took and what you do now?
Part of my story starts when I first entered an academic setting. Growing up in Park Hill, there was a desegregation of school case called Wilfred Keyes versus District 1 which was Denver’s first case outside of the South in collaboration with African-American, Hispanic, and Latino families. Back then, we talked a lot about equality and not equity.
The cornerstone of that case was to provide similar, if not the same inner-city experiences that students were having in higher social economic areas. This created bussing and there were these different blocks that were either bused out of Park Hill when there were students from affluent neighborhoods that were bused into Park Hill to desegregate some of the schools. I was on a block where I was bussed out of the neighborhood.
Isn’t it an interesting stereotype that if we put higher affluent kids with a stereotype of young Black or Brown uneducated kids, those Black and Brown students will become smarter of the mix of the more fluent white children? I wanted to throw that in there because that was some of the philosophy and stereotypes of bussing in Denver.
Let’s integrate these students and this will change their whole academic experience. Let’s keep the same systems and structures that push inequities and not create a foundation or platform of success for Black and Brown children.
It is again the notion that the kids are the problem and not the systemic structure of education.
I was bussed in elementary about 30 minutes outside of my neighborhood to a neighborhood in Denver called Cherry Creek. I went to Bromwell Elementary which was in a very affluent neighborhood. All of my teachers were White women. I remember for the most part my mom being extremely engaged in my academics in elementary and her building authentic relationships with the teachers. For the most part, my experience was decent. When I got to middle school, I was bussed to Hamilton Middle School and which is about 40 minutes outside.
That’s a long way from Park Hill.
It was about a 40 to 50-minute bus ride depending on the weather and traffic. This is my first remembrance of, “We are different.” I remember a teacher commenting as we got off the bus in the morning, “Here come the bus kids.” I let it slide over my head and started reflecting on it as I’m walking to the cafeteria for breakfast. I’m like, “How is she identifying us as the bus kids?” Is it because we got off a bus? I started looking around and everyone that was getting off the bus is Black children.
All the neighborhood students were White affluent children. I started paying attention to the setup, systems, and structures within the school. All the African-American students were in the same classrooms on the second floor. All of the Hispanic-Latino students were on the West wing of the second floor, sharing the same classrooms. All the honors students were the neighborhood students on the first floor, and they were all affluent White children. I started looking at the segregation within the building and the different interactions that would occur between the bus children, as we were called, and the staff. We started to develop that, “Were the bad kids.”
You had the adults affirming that, not only by how they defined you but also by how they separated you within the school.
Also, the interactions that we had with the adults. The school was about compliance for us, not learning. The school was about control for us, not educating. Our experience was that when you think about it, our institute is similar to incarceration. That’s when I first started to understand the differences based on my culture, where I’m from, my gender, what I look like, and my social economic status. I started understanding how people perceive me based on those cultural aspects and who I am before I even get a chance to present myself.
In some cases, things that they see that they connect to a stereotype. They’re getting off the bus. They’re the bus kids. He’s a Black kid. In all of those things, you can’t see socioeconomics, although I’m sure there was some internal dialogue about these kids coming from that poor neighborhood. It shows how prevalent all of these stereotypes and judgments that we make about each other impact us at a very young age.
I didn’t see myself as a student early on in my academic career. I didn’t see myself as someone that belonged in the academic environment. Fast forward to high school. I played sports. My older brother was my role model and I started to walk a different path. I started developing relationships with people that look different than me. I had my first African-American teachers in high school.
What was that like for you to go to a classroom and see a teacher who looked like you?
I wanted to be like them. It was this automatic connection and respect. How did you make it here? I wanted to be like them. I did not want to disappoint them. Now I can see myself in this classroom. I have someone to whom I can relate. It’s an automatic willingness to be vulnerable. When I saw my teachers that looked like me, the way that they looked at me, and the admiration that I have for them, it was extremely powerful.
After high school, I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I was in this place. I had a daughter on the way. I had my first daughter at nineteen years old right out of high school. I was living in Park Hill with my daughter’s mother and I’m a father now, so I have to provide. I went to Metro CCD, Community College of Denver, and began on a path of business. I said, “Let me start this path.” Maybe I’ll go into something like business. I knew I needed to provide. I was going to school at night and was searching for a job during the day.
I found myself walking into a Denver Public Schools school building. It was Smiley Middle School. I remember asking the principal, “I would love to be a teacher’s aide.” They would look at me up and down and I have these starched jeans, a white t-shirt, and a young Black man. Instantly, it would be, “We don’t have any paraprofessional jobs or teacher aide jobs. Sorry.” While I was at Smiley, I saw a flyer for a part-time custodian position. I said, “I need a job. let me fill out this application and see what happens.”
I filled out the application and received a call within 24 hours. A couple of weeks later, I was a part-time custodian at Smiley Middle School. I worked during the day. It gave me the opportunity to truly build relationships with students. Even from that lens or from that position or wearing the hat of a custodian gave me an opportunity to build authentic relationships with students to have some understanding and empathy for where they were at. I looked at the inequities within the school building as well and saw children experiencing the same thing that I experienced as a student.
I bet that brought back both the memories and the feelings of what you had experienced. I want to share something I’ve learned in working in schools and districts over the years. I ask people when I’m doing professional development, “Tell me who they think knows the most about your kids in this building.” “The teacher, the principal.” I said, “No.”
The person who knows the most about your kids in this building is the custodians, the paraprofessionals, and the people who serve your kid’s lunch. They interact with them and develop deep relationships. I bet you knew the stories of where those kids came from, not just who they are. That’s what’s missing in education. I’m glad that you shared that and had that same experience. I’ll let you go on.
Those individuals that you named get to see children in their true social element when they are being their authentic selves. It’s not this story of compliance. Sit down at level zero. Raise your hand. Don’t talk out of turn. It is not that relationship that’s in their social environment. You can truly develop authentic relationships and talk to children. I needed more money. I opened up Rachel B. Noel Middle School as a full-time custodian.
I got a promotion to Rachel B. Noel as a full-time custodian. I was at Rachel B. Noel for about a year and a half. There was an opportunity at Lowry Elementary as an Assistant Facility Manager. I take all my classes. I get promoted to Assistant Facility Manager at Lowry Elementary. As soon as I walk into the principal’s office to introduce myself as the new assistant facility manager, I like eyes with this young lady and I’m like, “I recognize you from somewhere. Michael Atkins, what are you doing here?”
It was my second-grade teacher, formerly known as Ms. Brown but Ms. Redlin at the time. We had an opportunity to sit down and chat. She asked about my mother and my family and I had an opportunity to tell her my story. My main goal was to be a mentor to youth. I wanted to be a paraprofessional or a teacher’s aide. Every time I walked into the principal’s office, I had this experience.
I want to stop you for a minute and remind everybody how important connections are to you. Here’s a connection you made in second grade when you were nine years old and years later, there you go. That’s the importance of connection.
It’s a relationship that I was able to develop as a baby, essentially. As a child, it gave me a key to unlock a door going back to, “Adversity is guaranteed. Perseverance is a choice.” Although my pathway, even to that point, was not the normal pathway, I was able to attain this key based on a relationship I was able to build in second grade. I told her my story and she didn’t say much.
About a month later, she pulled me into her office and said, “I found funds for a paraprofessional position, and I want to offer you that position if you want it.” Ecstatically, I jumped at the opportunity. About 1 month or 2 into that position, I changed my Major from Business to Behavioral Science with a Minor in K-5 Education. I went on this path and journey to be an educator with the goal of changing students, especially students that look like me and have similar experiences change their experience within the classroom.
A couple of years later, I graduated with that degree. I was one of the first people in my family to graduate with a college degree. I went into the classroom and loved every day, every moment I got to spend with children. I learned so much about myself through the interactions that I had with my students every single day that I had the opportunity to educate them. They instructed me on some very key values, started to take that other step back, looked at the district, and student experiences as a whole, and wanted to do more.
I had an opportunity to apply to DUs leadership program to be a Ritchie intern. It was a tedious process at the time. I was stepping out on faith and not by sight and said, “Let me do this and seek this opportunity.” I went out and applied for the Ritchie intern at Denver University. It landed me an internship at Oakland Elementary in the Montbello neighborhood in Denver.
My first year as an Assistant Principal at Oakland changed my life. I found myself in this deep reflection after my first year, looking at numbers and the quantitative data as we all do at the end of the year and reflecting on it. I looked at our suspension numbers. Thinking about it is emotional for me. We have created systems that align directly with the inequities that we have in our society. There were plenty of disparities within our school suspension numbers. I told myself that this isn’t what I got into leadership for. I got into leadership for the opposite.
The disparity that Michael’s sharing is that Black males across this country are over-referred to discipline at 5 to 6 times the rate of White males for the same behavior. The only difference is their racial category and the stereotypes that people associate with that. Those disparities are in complete alignment with the systemic structures that were built to mostly serve White males.
When we’re talking about all of these issues around equity, we’re attempting to do something in a system that was designed to be equal to meet the needs of a mostly homogeneous group of people. I’m presuming this brings up all of that emotion because you look at your own experience as a young Black male in school and have been associated with those stereotypes.
You have now grown into this man who’s an assistant principal. It goes back to what you said earlier that your community grounding means a lot to you. What I’m hearing in there too is that sadly and fortunately, those numbers that you saw in your school as an assistant principal kept you connected to your youth, growing up, and the importance of community.
We had creative systems that were perpetuating systemic inequities. We created systems and structures that were about compliance and not education. Individual biases were showing up every single day and we were doing nothing about it. It’s that deep reflection. I said that we have to enter the school year the following year differently. That’s when you come into the picture.
We had creative systems that were perpetuating systemic inequities. We created systems and structures that were about compliance and not education. Share on XThat’s when we met.
I reached out to you when we created an equity team over at Oakland. We made every single teacher in the building take the intercultural development inventory which put them on a continuum from denial to adaptation. The assessment gives them information about how they show up around cultures that are different from theirs and their true, honest, authentic beliefs and puts them on the continuum.
It identifies the gap between your perceived orientation and where I perceive I’m at this work. Everyone says, “Equity, I am so far. I’m up here on the continuum. I don’t have any work to do.” It identifies the gap between your perceived orientation to your developmental orientation. Once we got teachers there, we can start talking about how we closed the gap because they interacted in our equity work a little differently.
I want to also point out one of the things that we did. While I supported you in the engagement of it, you and your leadership team kept it going. We had all of these conversations outside of judging, blaming, and shaming the people that we were working with for being normal in that we all have these blind spots.
I even found when I did the IDI that I had some work to do because my perception of myself was different from the actuality. Because of the way it was presented, I could self-reflect. That was an important part of what you bring into your work you’re not shaming, blaming, and judging people for the disparities that you see.
It’s important in the work, in general, to say that we’re all a work in progress and be vulnerable with that and share your journey. This is my goal, vision, and mission, and this is where I’m at in that journey. I’ll always be somewhere in my equity journey. Some days, it’s 2 steps back and the next day, 5 steps forward. That is your unique journey. The power of reflection within that and the power of even knowing that you have this gap that you have to fill allows you to interact as a learner instead of this knower every single day.
The other parts that attracted me to continue our work together are what you shared in being humble and vulnerable. We see a lot of our leaders who are neither. They’re not humble. They’re boastful. They are not vulnerable. They’re shameful. That’s a big part. What happened to you after Oakland?
After Oakland, I wanted to be a principal. I was at Oakland for three years as an assistant principal. Denver Public Schools Pathway program is the Learn to Lead program. Within my equity journey and making sure that I was able to serve all communities, I stepped out on faith and not by sight, and I went to the Southwest quadrant of the city. I was the Learn to Lead Principal Resident at Grant Ranch.
That’s quite a difference from Montbello. For those of you who are reading, Denver is essentially a racially segregated city. Park Hill and Montbello neighborhoods are predominantly Black. North and Southwest Denver are predominantly Latino. Southeast Denver is more affluent and White, and the Downtown Corridor is a mix. You went from the Montbello neighborhood to the Southwest. It’s quite a shift.
It’s a huge shift. It’s like being thrown into the deep end of the pool and the water is 20 degrees. It was a shock to the system. At the same time, I learned so much. I learned that everyone has the same purpose in education. Whether you are a parental stakeholder, a teacher, a facility manager, a custodian, or an administrative assistant, we are all seeking this same goal, and that’s to serve our babies. People who advocate differently. What I learned about myself is the ability to seek to understand before I pass judgment and to be an active listener.
Stepping back and listening to a community advocate for their children sometimes felt like it was grounded in privilege. That was my first reaction often. Seeking to understand and being an active listener allowed me to hear individual stories and understand them a little better, which allowed me in turn to serve that population of students and families differently without passing judgment, blaming, or shaming. In all honesty, I’m a human and that was the first thing I wanted to do.
Seeking to understand and being an active listener allow you to hear individual stories and understand them a little better. Share on XThere is this privileged group of people that reflect the person who said, “There are those bus kids.” What’s important for everyone to understand is it’s not. You can heal yourself from those experiences, and they’re still a part of who you are. They can get re-stimulated or re-triggered at a moment’s notice. If you’re unaware of it, you act on it. If you have a little more awareness around it, you think about, “What’s here for me and how do I step into my role as the educator that I am to be able to connect with these folks?”
The first thing you want to say is, “You don’t know the struggle. This system is created for you. Don’t come into my office complaining.” It truly taught me how to seek to understand and develop a craft that I’ll always be developing which is active listening. Shortly after that year, I completed. I had an opportunity to apply for principal jobs. I applied for a position and interviewed for that position. I felt like I did very well in the interview.
Once again, I was on the brink of some diversity shifts. That was a PTA full of individuals that do not look like me, have different stories than me, and lived a different lifestyle than I have in the past. I remember receiving a call from an IS and that IS shared with me, “The parents love you, but they couldn’t see you on the playground with their children.”
I can tell that still brings up a lot of emotion for you.
It shook me to my core. It cleared off my glasses because sometimes we walk this path on our journey. Everything feels right. You get this reminder that you aren’t looking at the world the way the world looks at you. Once again, it took me back to that place in middle school. I had an opportunity to apply for another position or go to Stedman Elementary where there was an intern principal position. I spent a year working side by side with this intern and apply for the principalship later. The reason why I even considered this pathway is that Stedman Elementary was three blocks away from the house I grew up in.
It’s like now you’re back in Park Hill.
When I talk about that community and being a product of that environment wanting to shift and making sure the African and African-American babies that come from that community have different experiences, I said, “This is my opportunity and my time to give back to that community to reground myself in the work.” We all know that this work is emotional and difficult. If every single day is not purposeful, you will not last.
You talked about some other leaders that make this thing technical. They lead through this ego-driven lens of, “I am the boss. This is what needs to happen. This is my vision and mission.” Black and Brown children do not prosper within an environment like that. I’ve had the opportunity to go back to Stedman. I checked that route. We have done some extraordinary things.
How long have you been the principal there?
This 2020 is my first year. As the principal last 2019, I served as the incoming principal alongside an intern. We’ve done some amazing things. We had the seventh. We’re talking about a school that has historically, over the past years, been very up and down. When I inherited the school, it was down.
In the years I was at DPS, I worked with four different principals at Stedman. That, in itself, created what you’re now correcting by your ability to create connections, relationships, and some continuity with the community there.
The first thing that we did there was had all the teachers take the IDI, developed our equity plan and our equity work, and told teachers, “This is separate from your job as an educator. This is my investment in you as an individual. Welcome to your journey.” We had every teacher in the building take the IDI. We had Ellen Miller-Brown from DU come through and individually unpack reports with each one of my teachers. Every Friday, we have Culture Friday. We have 45 minutes together where we break bread together. One person shares their IDI, and if it’s not in-depth of their results, it’s in-depth of what they’re doing to continue on their journey and move up on the continuum.
We embrace the word vulnerability as a community and as a staff. What you see now at Stedman are happy children and educators that are in deep reflection. Babies embrace and want to be in their learning environment. Learning environments look like the children represent the class. What that equates to is critical thinking skills and growth within the classroom. My 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders 10th, 7th, and 4th in the district of an elementary school in Math in the Math Interim Assessment. My 5th graders came in at 7 in Literacy.
How many elementary schools do we have in DPS?
96, 98, or something like that.
That’s got a pretty amazing statistic.
I’m proud of my community and my babies. It’s been such a growing and inspirational inspiration for me to see them on their journey and happy within their academic setting.
You are an inspiration in terms of what’s possible. I told you all this man had an amazing leadership story, and when you hear how he went from the bus kid to the janitor, to the parapro, to the teacher, to the assistant principal, to the principal, it’s amazing. It shows the capability of our kids and any of the identifiers that we have raised in socioeconomics. It’s because of the love and the support and the connection and the community that you surrounded yourself with. I want to shift, appreciate your story, and ask you, “How are you doing through this pandemic?”
All of the things that you described are about connecting and now you’ve had to connect with your kids through video. How are you doing as a father, husband, and leader in terms of your self-care, knowing that a lot of those relationships that you all have built will sustain yet aren’t being nurtured daily?
The lack of connectedness with my school community has been difficult. It puts you in a place of shock, reflection, and adaptability. Thankfully, we are in this phase of adaptability where we are adapting, allowing, and following the lead of our students. Our students are creative, smart, intelligent, and adapt best. We’ve been able to follow their lead. The husband, wife, and father of three beautiful girls present his challenge. What I’m learning during this time is how to embrace balance.
My wife is amazing. She does most of the hard work. She’s a teacher and an educator and embraces that balance as well of, “How do I be a mother and wife and take care of my babies in my virtual classroom?” She’s been the rock in all of this. She’s helped me through those phases of shock and adaptability. We’re doing well, looking forward. I can’t even say normal. This is a great opportunity, for us to be innovative to do education differently forcefully. There’s nothing left on the foundation. The building is torn down. Do not build it the same.
It’s completely imploded. If we redo it and go back to exactly what we did, shame on us. I agree with you. This is the greatest opportunity that we’ve ever had to disrupt an institutionally biased and racist system that was not designed to be equitable. What are you hopeful for?
I’m hoping to connect soon with my faculty, my staff, and with my students in person safely. I’m hoping to be extremely innovative, to build different experiences within education for students, and new designs that aren’t built on this foundation of compliance. I am hoping that we create fast-forward educational experiences that align with the experiences our students will have when they grow up. I’m hoping that we can all be innovative. We can all be in this for our students in building a brighter and better future.
Let’s create fast-forward educational experiences that align with the experiences our students will have when they grow up. Share on XIt’s been great having this conversation with you. You’ve brought up many amazing topics and connections to what is happening not only in education in our world. I have one more question for you. Before I get to that, I want to know how can people connect with you. I’m sure there are going to be people out there that want to maybe have a deeper conversation. What would be the best way to find you and track you down?
Through my email, Michael_Atkins@DPSK12.org.
My last question is, what do you want your legacy to be? What is it that you want to be remembered for in terms of Michael Atkins?
This guy truly stood for our youth and created systems that enhance diversity that enhance the celebration of our differences and connectedness all across this country. I hope that is what I am remembered for, and I can only be remembered for that if it comes true. We have a lot of work to do.
You embody all of the characteristics that I look for in a great leader. I know that as a principal, you’re set to do amazing things in your school and your community. I’ll keep looking forward to watching how you continue to grow because I know that’s also what you’ll be remembered for. You’re this continually growing person that wants to make a difference and stay connected with your community. It’s amazing that you started in Park Hill and ended up in Park Hill to share your gifts. You’ve been learning about Michael Atkins. Thank you much, and we’ll see you next time.
Thank you. Continue leading the way.
Important Links
- Michael Atkins – LinkedIn
- Learn to Lead Program
- Michael_Atkins@DPSK12.org
- @BilldelaC on Twitter
- @BilldelaC on Instagram
- Bill de la Cruz on Facebook